Tightcannon - Freeware Software written by Mike Fletcher
12 Articles

Wishful thinking

That, that patriot without peer James Dyson will invent and produce an Arse kickin’ machine – which he will first test exclusively and extensively on himself. And then put the tests on Youtube



I’m not a fan of so called reality programmes. I don’t feel superior to those that do enjoy them – anymore than I would enjoy feeling inferior to others in the way that royal grovellers must.

My reason for disliking these programmes is that their only justification seems to be to produce yet another CELEB. I may soon be the only non CELEB left in the UK so this could easily be jealousy on my part.

As you might expect, I do have a suggestion for a useful reality programme called “Justify your Cuntness”. ( A more generally acceptable title could be arrived at, i’m sure)

In this program, a group of children from ages five to ten would interrogate adults whose wages are an obscenity and ask them to explain – for example – why a it’s a good thing that a disk jockey can receive more than the combined salary of the medical team that saved the life of a child’s mother
Or why a footballer should be paid £150,000 a week when those that put their lives at risk every working day receive a pittance for their courage.

While not impossible – it’s difficult to lie to children in the same way that adults deceive each other and the approval or otherwise of the audience would play a part.
Glib phrases like going rates and limited earning opportunities and such would be pointless
because the Children wouldn’t understand them, so those with sufficient chutzpah to take part would really really have to take an honest look at how they see their contribution.
A beneficial by- product of all this might be, that among the Children, we’ll unearth someone with sufficient intelligence to sort BREXIT out by circa 2040 .

Only two grovelling days to Xmas

In recognition of the way that  life in the U.K . has been almost completely dumbed down in
recent years, (Thanks for this must go to Rupe and other newspaper proprietors of his sort) the woman residing and reigning at Buck house will in future be known as the Head Celeb. She has reigned during this age of unreason and it is only fitting that this new title is respectfully bestowed.
Happy days off to everyone and a better and happier new year.

You gotta love ’em

I feel genuinely sorry for the bosses of Power utilities, Insurances, Telephone companies and the like.

Every day they must make their own skin itch from morn to night.
And very uncomfortable it must be for them.

They must know that their own children will grow to detest them, if they
don’t already.
While feeling sorry for them, I have to say that I’ve got more respect for Muggers who don’t pretend to be anything other than the  shite they are.

When will the people who pay more and more every year to  indulge these Fatcats, say “enough is enough”?

I don’t think we’ll ever change their nasty ways by asking nicely.




So you think your luck is poxed.

Acting on the the advice of my doctor to walk for at least 30 minutes a day (It’s getting harder and harder to tell Doctors apart from Personal trainers these days)
I decided to lengthen my walk from the shops by returning home via the local recreation park. Having been told by the doc that my taking an occasional pinch of snuff was a bad idea – I was trying to open a TicTacs container as I walked along the path through the park.

This was proving difficult because of the gout in the fingers of my left hand, I finally got it to open, but not without spilling a dozen or so onto the muddy grass.
Cursing this occurence, I heard a whooshing sound coming from the branches of one of the trees overhanging the path and a dollop of birdshit went straight through the opening of the TicTac box. And you know how small that is.
I rest my case.

What did you do in the BREXIT daddy?

It would be nice if someone like Jeremy Paxman, but, perhaps, a little less genial, would do a television interview with BoJo and Nige. and others of their ilk and ask them
“Just what the fuck did you think would happen”?
He might go on to ask_
Did you think that all our European neighbours find us Brits so cuddly and lovable that they find it difficult not to ejaculate whenever they think of us?
Did you think that the European union would just give us everything that we demanded and then say “Are you sure that’s enough?”
At precedent setting time, did you believe that Britain would be given a deal that would make any other nation disgruntled with the Europe deal, think hey! we’ll have some of that?

It’s been said that Trump was flabbergasted when he won the U.S. election.
He felt like that because he thought that more Americans knew he was a cunt than didn’t realise.
The best that can be said about Boris and co is that they didn’t think that they had a snowballs chance of winning the referendum.
I never thought that I could feel sorry for a Tory, but I do have some sympathy for Teresa May.
The kids have had their tantrum and held their breath and now they want the grown-ups to sort things out
It was once and perhaps unkindly said of the Irish, that they didn’t know what they wanted and were willing to die for it.
It could be more accurately said of these BREXIT zealots that they don’t know what they’ll settle for and are willing to fuck everything up for it.

Sporting Chance

The Donald recently came out with yet another of his novel ideas , this being to prevent the modification of Assault rifles lest they fall into the hand of Sickos (As if)
This presumably will ensure that they kill six people or less rather than an embarrassingly larger number. Giving intended victims a sporting chance like this should be enough to silence those wishy washy liberals and make it plain to everyone what a Wunnerful warm human being Trump is.


The Sport of Curling has received an awful lot of coverage in the UK recently, doubtless due to the Winter Olympics being held in South Korea.
I’m quite prepared to accept that the sport of curling is as skilful as is claimed and equally ready to accept its Athleticism.
Yet, every time I watch it, it just always looks to me as if the Stadium’s cleaning staff have got way behind with their work.

Thin edge of the Wedge

In the UK, Councils in all areas have been charged with the task of reducing household waste. Initially, we were told that by co-operating we would be helping to save the planet. (And apart from Trump and Kim jong un – we’re probably all for that.)

The powers that be are not even pretending to believe that anymore. It’s purely about saving money, and of course, if we can save enough money then we won’t have to be too beastly to wonderful, benevolent employers like Amazon regarding their paying corporation tax or churlish about picking up the tab for the cost of repairs to our dear monarch’s Semi.

Only the very naive will believe ,that much, if any, of the money saved will be spent by a Tory government on the welfare of the needy.

Regarding the re-cycling specifics

People are employed by Councils on large salaries and Firms given lucrative contracts to come up with a workable plan.
From what I’ve seen in my local area, they’ve come up with nothing that a class of reasonably smart 10 year olds couldn’t equal, if given the task. I’m not saying that I could come up with a better plan, but then, I don’t receive a £100,000 salary for my mediocre brain.

Getting householders to do much of the work for nothing is a method shared by all councils. That was a great idea, although, I think the Romans and the Southern states had it first.

I think all householders should be aware that all of this probably won’t be these councils last territorial claims so to speak.
We may soon be requested (in the usual avuncular bullying way that councils have) to brush the road outside our homes as well.
Don’t think it won’t happen.

Crass Statements

Who said “Rape should be legal as long as at least one of the Parties involved agrees with it”?
Nobody, as far as I know, but with 17 days to go until the end of the year – Some Celebrity or Politician is bound to come up with something even more crass. Let’s see if it can be beaten.